Home Isn't Home
by Miz-Cam
Summary: [Song-fic] It’s not like they would realize I was gone. I bet I could kill myself, and they’d find out a week later when they smell something decaying. Heck, I’m already decaying on the inside.


Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold! or any other the characters. I just own this story. Oh yeah, I don't own the song "Home" by Three Days Grace either. Pretty sad really.

A/N: Man, I'm just shelling out fics left and right. This Three Days Grace CD has some nice songs, I suggest you buy it, if you're into rock. Anyway, R/R Hope you enjoy it!

Summary: Helga reflecting on everything that's happening to her. 

"Home Isn't Home"

Helga Pataki lay sprawled on her bed, silently crying. It's been a while since she's cried, and it felt so nice to get some relief. No one would expect the class bully to actually show some kind of human emotion, but what did they know about her? They didn't know anything about what she goes through. Not even her best, and probably only friend, Phoebe. She only saw glimpses of her horrible life. If it wasn't for a certain someone, she probably wouldn't be alive right now. The only thing that got to her more than anything, was her home life. It made her who she was today. She didn't feel love from anyone, so how would she even know how to give out love? Exactly. Family is supposed to be there for support, not ridicule. It'll be a miracle if her parents actually knew she lived in this house. 'Four more years and I'll finally be out on my own, away from here.' she thought.

I'll be coming home  
just to be alone  
Cause I know you're not there  
And I know you don't care  
I can hardly wait to leave this place

Why did they even have her in the first place? Did they expect some clone of her wonderful, perfect sister Olga? Boy, were they surprised. She was just some mutation of Olga. Helga clenched her teeth as her sister's name reverberated through her mind. 'Olga. Miss Perfect. God, they should just adopt Liiila and throw me out to the curb. The perfect family would THEN be formed.' 

Helga's POV

I don't know why I even bother trying to achieve anything. It's not like they'll notice me anyway. Miriam would probably be drunk to the next millennium and Big Bob would just yell at me to keep it down. Probably would get my name wrong too. They're so predictable. When Olga comes, they magically transform into those families on T.V. excluding me of course. Olga does try though, to include me, but then the spotlight just beckons her and she ignores me as well. Who could blame her? Having attention is something everybody craves. Even me.

No matter how hard I try  
You're never satisfied  
This is not a home  
I think I'm better off alone  
You always disappear  
Even when you're here  
This is not my home  
I think I'm better off alone  
Home, this house is not a home

I remember one time I came home late. I didn't seem that much of a big deal to me. It's not like they would realize I was gone. I bet I could kill myself, and they'd find out a week later when they smell something decaying. Heck, I'm already decaying on the inside. Anyway, I walked into my "house" and Bob was there, watching some commercial of his for the fiftieth time. He turned towards me and I saw his eyes flicker with anger. "Hey, hey, hey, where have you been little lady? It's way past your bedtime." I held the urge to roll my eyes at his sudden parental worry and replied "Nothing DAD, I had dinner at Phoebe's." I guess I pissed him off more because next came I tirade of yells as I stomped upstairs. When did he all of a sudden make it his duty to be my father? "You're a Pataki! You need to set an example! I can't have you running around the streets like some hood." God, I might as well just run away to get this hell over with.

By the time you come home  
I'm already stoned  
You turn off the TV  
And you scream at me  
I can hardly wait  
till you get off my case

If it wasn't for this significant people in my life, I would've left this place ages ago. I just stick around for them. Who knows what would they do without me? But, the prospect of being alone sounds so inviting. I can be my own person. No façade to hold for anyone, no yells. No expectations for being a bully, or being perfect. I can just be me. I can never do that though. I yawn and slowly drift off to sleep, one thought leaving my mind before my escape engulfs me. No matter how much my life sucks, I'm a Pataki, and in one way or another, we always pull through.

No matter how hard I try  
You're never satisfied  
This is not a home  
I think I'm better off alone  
You always disappear  
Even when you're here  
This is not my home  
I think I'm better off alone  
Home, this house is not a home  
  
This house is not a home  
I'm better off alone


End file.
